If Only

You’ll only be sheltered so long,
until you learn to be strong.

Mamma, how I wish I could be ten again and cry myself to sleep.
These days, all I do is look at myself in the mirror and weep;
stare at the ceiling as tears roll down my cheeks.

How I wish I could look around and only see beauty-
Greener grass, butterflies and stars…
(An era where dreams aren’t marred and charred.)

If only, greys could be colourblocked.
If only, I didn’t have to put up this ruse of being strong.
If only, chronicles and tidings weren’t altered for morning meat.
If only, I could fathom my own heartbeat.

If only, I wouldn’t be censured for every word I say;
and not have a heavy heart every single time I pray.

If only, I could read his mind;
look into his eyes and bare my soul away.
If only, I knew he was the one for sure…

I wouldn’t be so miserable, so terribly afraid;
I’d finally be vulnerable and open up my heart’s gate.
I would write myself a song,
and have all those I love sing-along.

Because I didn’t know earlier, although I should have known all along-
You’ll only be sheltered so long,
until you learn to be strong.

© achillesheelpoetry, 2022

5 thoughts on “If Only

  1. Wow, the last stanza hits hard and I like how you poem is building onto a culmination which is beautifully depicted in the last stanza, one of my many favourites from you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot, Fariha! 💖
      The good thing about great comments is how they give the author an insight into their own work, something that they might have overlooked otherwise, so thanks a bunch for the insight.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much! 💖
      I’ve been very well, thanks for asking; and I hope you’re doing just as good, if not more!
      xx

      Like

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